Have you ever noticed that quiet voice that runs in the background of your day, commenting, questioning, sometimes encouraging, sometimes criticising? This inner dialogue shapes how you see yourself and the world around you. Sometimes it helps you stay focused. Other times, it can become a harsh critic that leaves you doubting your worth or replaying every mistake.
Learning to listen to this voice with awareness can be transformative. It’s the first step toward self-understanding and a more compassionate way of living.
What Is Your Inner Voice?
Your inner voice is part of being human. It’s the mind’s way of processing thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Sometimes it’s kind and reflective: “That went well.” At other times it’s self-critical: “You should’ve done better.”
When this inner commentary turns negative, it can heighten anxiety and undermine confidence. When it’s kind and balanced, it supports resilience and self-trust. The aim isn’t to silence your thoughts but to understand them, and to recognise which ones help you grow.
The Roots of Self-Criticism
For many people, their self-talk echoes early influences. The words of parents, teachers, or peers often become internalised and replayed over time. A critical voice might have once developed to keep you safe from failure or rejection. But as life changes, that same voice can become limiting, repeating messages that no longer reflect who you truly are.
Recognising that your inner critic once had a protective role can help you relate to it with curiosity instead of frustration. This gentle awareness is the beginning of change.
Balancing the Inner Critic and the Inner Coach
Inside every person are two guiding voices. The inner critic can sound sharp and discouraging: “You’ll never get this right.” The inner coach offers encouragement: “This is tough, but you’ve handled hard things before.”
When you begin to notice which voice you are listening to, you create space to choose. The goal is not to erase the critic but to strengthen the coach—the part that believes in your ability to grow.
As researcher Dr. Kristin Neff reminds us, self-compassion is not self-indulgence. It is treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a friend. Over time, this approach replaces self-attack with patience and perspective.
Practical Ways to Soften Your Inner Dialogue
Change takes practice, not perfection. You can start small with these simple techniques:
1. Pause and Notice.
Ask yourself, “What is my inner voice saying right now?” Don’t judge it—just observe. Awareness loosens the hold of automatic criticism.
2. Write It Down.
Journalling can reveal patterns that stay hidden. Record moments of strong emotion or self-criticism and look for themes. Seeing your words on paper helps you gain clarity.
3. Challenge Harsh Thoughts.
When you catch a critical thought like “I always fail,” ask, “Is that completely true?” or “What would I tell a friend?” This creates balance and perspective.
4. Practise Self-Compassion.
Try gentle phrases such as, “This is hard, but I’m doing my best,” or “May I be kind to myself right now.” Over time, this shifts the tone of your inner world.
5. Stay Present.
Mindfulness is simply paying attention to what’s here. A few slow breaths or noticing your body’s sensations can bring you back to the present when thoughts spiral.
How Therapy Can Help You Understand Your Inner Voice
Exploring your inner dialogue in therapy can be a deeply healing experience. In a safe, non-judgemental space, you can begin to understand how your self-talk developed and how it affects your emotions, decisions, and relationships.
At Liminal Therapy, the process moves at your pace. There’s no pressure to change quickly or to quiet your thoughts completely. Instead, therapy invites curiosity—helping you uncover how your inner patterns formed and how they can become gentler over time.
“Given this, the act of revealing oneself fully to another and still being accepted may be the major vehicle of therapeutic help.” — Irvin D. Yalom
Moving Toward Self-Awareness and Authentic Living
Your inner voice will always be with you. The goal is not to silence it, but to make peace with it—to let it guide rather than criticise. With awareness and kindness, the same voice that once held you back can become a source of confidence and calm.
If you’re ready to explore your own inner voice and develop a more compassionate relationship with yourself, Liminal Therapy offers both in-person and online sessions. Sessions are flexible, affordable, and tailored to your pace. Together, we can begin the gentle process of transforming self-criticism into self-understanding, one step at a time.
